Humanity

why

i’m no nancy kerrigan, i will tell you that.

 

i should just stop there and have that be my funniest post ever.

but i never know whats good for me, so on i go.

… so i read a lot, i think sometimes, i like to stare out the window, i do strange work online for people i don’t know… and somehow in many of the circles and floats i have done, i’ve been bumping into this same question again and again, and in all the directions. specifically, why…  finding, sliding, crashing into this need to question everything, to satisfy the curiosity about WHY i am thinking a thing, WHY i am desiring a thing… WHY am i going backwards in my mental gymnastics about strangers, etc… (and i think i’m done again, btw)  …

i want to live this way.  i WANT to.  i want to question myself as i flit from room to room avoiding writing… WHY am i getting up right now? WHY am i not writing? WHy am i so uncomfortable TRYING something? WHY does my brain skitter away from the hard questions?

deeper:  WHY do i want to write? WHY do i think there will be so much failure? WHY do i think i’m not smart enough? WHY? What am i so scared of?

even working my brain into a corner makes my skin hot, and i can feel my ears.

sigh.

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19 thoughts on “why”

  1. Oh gosh. The “why” question! It’s such a doozy, isn’t it? And never ending, it seems! Hope you are able to identify some answers soon!

  2. I think it’s a natural part of being a human to question why. It’s our curious nature. And I think we’ve all been in the same spot with questioning ourselves as well. I know I have. Keep asking why! It’ll grow you in so many ways.

  3. I think every human in the world can relate to WHY? Mine is also, “Why do I not think I’m smart enough?”

  4. To know your why is to know your heart. Keep exploring. And I have learned, just because I want to is good enough sometimes!

  5. I love asking questions – especially why. I think it’s so important to take a moment and really puzzle out things – what we want, why we do things, why we don’t do things. It’s a great way to grow!

  6. nancy kerrigan… i had to google her. 😛 now I remember who she is…my memory isn’t the best… i tend to avoid asking why anything happens to me and ask instead what am i learning from this… like why i don’t remember who nancy kerrigan is… now i can say, i learned she didn’t give up despite someone trying to crush her dreams…

    you too have great dreams to reach with each word you write…i’m proud of you! <3

  7. Great post! I question myself as well. Not only why’s, but what’s, how’s and who’s. And I try to learn as much as possible of the answers, and I meditate to keep my mind calm for a while too. That works wonderful!

  8. I think it’s great for us to ask questions and reflect – understand why you do or don’t want to do something. Ultimately, it is hoped that you’ll get answers and find direction.

  9. When my kids ask me “Why?” ~ I just answer “Z.” (and that was meant to hopefully get you to chuckle just a bit…..I agree, however – ask yourself “Why not?”)

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