Sometimes in the bustle of my day, I get lost. I mean, the actual being who inhabits this body becomes irrelevant in the hustle to get work, do the laundry, feed the kids, do the taxes. When my dad died, several years ago now, I had to stick my hand in my own face to remind myself that I existed. I was in a pretty hard marriage at the time and getting lost in grief without a backdrop of reliable love was astonishingly hard. (all grief is hard.)
SO, anyhow. Between the fingers of the hand-in-the-face maneuver lay my need to keep moving, to do one small thing every day that was just for me, just one small thing to foster life within me, with-out me, all over.
I feel a need to bring it back down to brass tacks like that again. i’m not in crisis (at all) but the stresses of the world are hitting too close to the bone. the environment, the politics, the dis-ease of the whole planet is making it impossible to do even keel.
yelling in the kitchen is one small thing. I’ve done two others here that are making me feel more grounded, in action.
- making my own laundry detergent. so damn simple. such a great smell. no plastic bottles. no chemicals that i cannot identify going into my septic system, which is ground that we all live with every day. The simple recipe is in my instagram feed, linked down below.
- no more plastic drink bottles. ooooh. the kids know, and are not fans. Sports and the drive home from them used to involve a stop at the quickie mart. no more. No more Gatorade. YIKES. This one will prove a challenge when baseball season starts. the challenge to me is that i will need to be packing food more substantially. the challenge to them will be to value my reasons. No more ‘fun’ cups for kids at the restaurant. jury is out, til further notice.
what are your things? what are you going to do?
on instagram, i am @unwifedmotherexpletive