i’m hearing from others, too, that this is a legit thing. A new, recycled thing, new to us and you, and again. Yes, we here in New England are opening up after mostly surviving our first wave. That first wave is thrashing its way through the south and west currently, because they thought we were making it up? that they didn’t need to take it seriously because they believe the President? I’m dealing with a bunch of anger and confusion and stress these days.
I feel like bullets are in order:
- my teenager is furious that he can’t spend 24 hours a day with friends. FUCKING LIVID. You should see the look he just gave me. I felt my ovaries shudder.
- I am torn between the issues of my first kid needing true and real and lifelong independence and socializing and the existence of a virus like this.
Like, it’s my first time letting a kid go, ya dig?
- dating doesn’t really happen right now, so we are all supposed to just text until we die. This is very very unsatisfying, as it does not contain sex in a real sense and also, my imagination is too goddamned good and i’m making people WAY better than they actually are. and, believe it or not, that is a sort of pain.
- also, as to dating, in the isolation of rarely seeing another adult, the ‘import’ of communication with a stranger is off-balance and it is making me insane. its just a distraction and I am treating it as a ‘thing’.
and I am desperate for a thing. And it does not feel good. Another sort of pain.
- AND I AM A MOTHERFUCKING BADASS. WHY WOULD I EVER HAVE TO CHASE A MAN? I KNOW BETTER. WHY AM I FEELING CRAZY? (corona crazy)
- how are we supposed to take care of our kids in this? why can’t we find clear answers?
- soccer practice started, no games scheduled, and they aren’t allowed to be near each other on the field. oh fun.
- baseball practice started, first game is tomorrow. we’ll see what that looks like. I have a camp chair and a blanket and a butt load of snacks.
- I love you all anyhow, even though i’ll never shake your hand or give you a hug again.
- i’m not fucking olaf but I really miss it all.